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Welcome to the Hotel California

9a26f-britneybaldAt some point over the weekend, television news reporters shifted their focus from the Anna Nicole Smith Media Festival of Tragedy to the Britney Spears Media Festival of Baldness.

I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I think it must have something to do with geology and astronomy. Apparently, when Britney shaved her head, the world simultaneously moved slightly off axis or out of orbit. That is, after all, the only justification for devoting so much attention to this particular rebellious act/publicity stunt/cry for help.

If this is a cry for help, I sincerely hope Britney gets it. She’s a sweet girl from a small town with a generous heart who has willingly become an entertainment prostitute, frequently dressing the part. Madonna played the role first, but always seemed in control. Perhaps that’s because she didn’t have people photographing her every time she picked her nose and wasn’t constantly subjected to frenzied paparazzi scrambling to obtain images for Web sites that publish 24 hours a day.

Madonna provocatively controlled the media. She knew what would elicit a response and what would create controversy. Britney is either bald because she’s trying to do the same, or hairless because she’s lost the media control Madonna infamously mastered.

All of these confused and destructive Hollywood girls gone wild stories sadly remind me of that Eagles song “Hotel California.” Remember the line: “You can check out any time you like (of rehab) but you can never leave.”

Got a comment? E-mail me at endyanna@earthlink.com or Tweet me at @lareecarucker.

Photo: From USA Today, KABC-TV via AP



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