1. Oftentimes, neither the bad or good things people say about others are true.
2. Electric blankets, chocolate ice cream, cheese and boots are all made by angels.
3. Exceeding expectations will make some people happy and some people mad.
4. I have been traumatized throughout my life by tornadoes.
5. If you hurt animals with cruel intentions, you should endure medieval testicle torture. If you have animals, you should be responsible for them.
6. “Tickling Slow Loris” is the best YouTube video of all time for many reasons.
7. If you ever meet an egocentric, time traveling, Latin-speaking philosophy professor in a period costume with a pocket watch who describes himself as an atheist who believes God is real, hold on to your rings.
8. Everyone who says Who Dat, should be forced to say Whom Dat.
9. I am psychic.
10. The world would completely suck without Muppets.
11. Time stops for no one. Not even the aging actors of John Hughes’ films.
12. Old people are really not “old” anymore and can’t be shocked like previous generations
13. Some people don’t have a sense of humor or a tender heart. That hampers their life perspective and prevents them from noticing and understanding certain things.
14. Rich celebrities who weather cheating scandals can dry their eyes with dollar bills.
15. Sometimes you see your former self in other people and secretly realize how much you’ve grown.
16. Some people falsely believe they are smarter than everybody else.
17. I bond quickly with silly people.
18. It’s sad that you can no longer tell if people have eating disorders.
19. If I ran “life,” there would be more dance flash mobs.
20. Mel Gibson uses different aliases to comment on our website.
21. Drama for some is like air.
22. The American dream is undoubtedly attainable. . . . if you have enough money and the right contacts.
23. If you earn my trust as a friend, I will slay dragons for you.
24. The world looks different with each decade.
25. Everyone is a collection of past experiences, and their truths may differ from yours.